Is it time yet?

Sometimes I really have a hard time connecting to this world in a way that I would like to.  I see people obliviously drudging through life completely unaffected by the fact that people are suffering.  I see people in the check out line, enraged by the fact that they have to wait to pay for their food when there is someone sitting outside that very same store who just wants to be able to eat any of that food.  I see spouses abusing each other instead of protecting eachother and parents so consumed with not getting everything they want that they are unwilling to give any quality time to their kids.

I see this and more, yet… so many don’t.  I’m  confused how we can have so much pain in our world and people get so wrapped up in their daily lives that they don’t have any desire to see it or to respond to it when they do.  I don’t understand how we can all be a part of this same world, and have such completely different lifestyles and views. This isn’t a high view of myself, my flaws are many, but a plea for others to reach out.

I find myself realizing that even though I want it all to stop, that it is not going to. I understand that we live in a fallen world and I understand that we are asked to lean on God, to trust Him.  It’s not understanding that, that is the problem. My problem is that the longer I live, the more I want to leave this world.  Sure, I would love to travel the world and see all the amazing things God has created.  I would LOVE that!  I would love to travel up into the mountains and stand under waterfalls with a smile on my face, hands outstretched. I see empty fields and all I want to do is take my shoes of and run through them barefoot.  When I see a baby, I just want to grab them and give them kisses and hear their joyous giggles!

The things that keep me going are the smiles of my children, the love of my family and friends and serving the Lord.  It is what sustains my every fiber. Even so, I long for the day that Jesus comes down and cradles my face lovingly, kissing me on the forehead and releasing me from this world with one look into my eyes.  Not having to face, let alone fight the sin and temptation to sin a single second more.  Some days, more than most, this is all I wish for. Today is one of those days.

While on other days, I feel like I can’t imagine not trying to see every place I long to see on this earth, and feel that there is still so much for me to do here, I recognize they are becoming fewer and fewer the more suffering I see.  I have not lived an easy life.  I have experienced things beyond my years according to society, but I feel small in my grief compared to so many others and I have no desire to become only about those trespasses against me, but how God lifted me out of them.

Very seldom do I refer to this prayer, as I feel it is distorted daily in movies and by self accredited authors, but it is still God’s word and it is good…

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
13 And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Mattew 6:9-13

May God’s grace be enough for you as you fight the beasts in your life. May you find peace in your hearts until you no longer have to ask, “Is it time yet?”

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Love and Courage to You All,

Angie

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