I Would Die

Wash my hands dear God,
Let them be clean.
Pump my heart dear Lord,
Let it remain full.
Clear my mind sweet Father,
So I can think again.
Lift my soul faithful King,
That I may survive.
Close my mouth Great I Am,
That I not trap myself.
Guide my feet Alpha and Omega,
That I will not stumble.
Wipe my eyes loving Jesus,
That I may always ‘see’.
Protect me my Shield,
So I can endure this life.
Raise up my courage oh Sword,
That I can fight with honor.
Rescue me precious Savior,
That I will reveal Your glory.
Move through me powerful Spirit,
So I can feel truly alive.

Every day something happens that requires me to consider my actions. From eating right to handling serious issues. Some days they are bigger than others but it is still the way of it. Some days I simply just allow my heart to be moved when it actually should be shielded. I allow my mind to chase anger. These things get mixed in with good things and they are easy to overlook but they exist. It’s not something that I think about a lot until I get to trust. I am terrible when it comes to trusting or even knowing if I am supposed to trust at all. I mean, maybe God intends for me to be on guard forever in this area. I don’t know. All I know is that I can trust Him. He never plays games with my heart. I never wonder if He loves me or if He will protect me. I only catch myself asking why but even that is cleared in His word.

I remember one day, looking at the ocean and thinking, I could walk in there and disappear and family aside, I would be missed by so few. Sure, I’m involved in tons of stuff so the shock would be widely felt, I’m sure, but not because of genuine relationships. Not because I have drank wine or broke bread with all these people. The grief would pass quickly. It wasn’t a suicidal thought or anything. I didn’t actually consider walking into the Ocean or anything and I don’t need reassurance or anything so don’t panic. LOL It was just a moment of self life evaluation.

I revisited this evaluation today and thought to myself. “Who would I be willing to die for?” For real. Not a quick, save that child from the moving car kind of giving where goodness and urgency collide, but real, contemplated I would sit and breathe my life out so that you could breathe your life in kind of willingness. To die for one is to create loss and grief for the others you would also be willing to die for.  When you look at it that way, the relationships we have become so much more important, do they not?

I am much more deliberate when I choose who can have that kind of access to my heart these days. I have embraced and trusted that God will be my mediator in life, ensuring that I do not recklessly interfere with His plan. His love for me will sustain me through all my follies. I can trust Him through anything. Sometimes He will use people for that purpose.

What I have considered today is how Jesus knew He was going to die. He knew He was going to be tortured and consciously made the decision to breathe His life out in exchange for ours… Including those who murdered him. I know how much I love my list of people whom I would be willing to die for. Can you imagine how great His love must be?

Save me from myself dear God. Don’t let me get in the way of Your glory. I love You, God and I know You hear my heart and see what I sacrifice to be honorable despite my temporary failures. But let no one ever forget Your sacrifice and how it is magnified by billions to my small ones. Let me not boast of anything but give You all the praise, because without You, I would just be dead. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

Oregon

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Seeking the Father, allows you to see the Son who frees you to embrace the Spirit, all in One. ~Angie

“Seeking the Father, allows you to see the Son who frees you to embrace the Spirit, all in One.” ~Angie

Whatever may come, we will be

And if the wind blows
Will you remember me
Can’t you fly to the moon
And look down onto the sea

Maybe we can fade away
Into the endless bliss
I’ll touch your face
And you can blow me a kiss

If your heart were a chance
That is one I would take
Seeing the flame in your eye
Baby there’s no mistake

Love ain’t just a reason
It is what makes us live
No matter what we face
It’s what I will give

When your body aches
From years gone by
I will reach for you the same
It is you I can’t deny

Ride with me in this way
Let’s adventure in this land
It may not make sense
But baby hold my hand

Hold me like you need me
Whisper sweetness in my ear
I am ready for the unknown
For the rest of our years

Let the music race your heart
Let the words rock your soul
And dance with me forever
Our hearts finally made whole

Free yourself darlin, free me
Finding love in a new way
I’m not asking perfection
I’m just asking you to stay

We belong together
For every single joy and strife
I want it all so say yes
Give me your whole sweet life

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