Cleansed

Image While I am very aware that this entry should be titled, Return of the Dead, I felt that focusing on what has happened in the months I have been away is much less important than what has happened in the last few weeks.

I love to write.  It is why I am here, you are here, we are here… but the problem is that I am used to being a ‘closet’ writer.  I struggle with knowing how to say what I need to say because I am so worried about offending people, causing conflict or being misunderstood.  I have been urged for years to blog, have spoke at a few public events, and still, I just couldn’t seem to get past this toxic feeling that I really didn’t have anything that great to say or it was going to make too many waves, so what was the point of doing it publicly?

The truth is this… I am a dirty writer!  I write about things that are controversial, I don’t always punctuate properly and I usually speak ‘too openly’ of my personal experiences.  I’m not easily embarrassed and I don’t really mind talking openly about things that gross me out, whether it is physically or spiritually, or whatever. The problem is that I am open and blunt and confident in my opinions, just not in sharing them publicly.

I thought that God was calling me to write publicly because He was going to do something amazing to me to make my writings worth enduring.  I see now, that is NOT the case! God has already done amazing things in my life and He wants me to be honest about the things I have gone through and how I really feel about them.  I hope that people will jump in and correct me when I’m wrong… I want people to share their opinions about my situations or the situations I present.  I don’t want to be who I was a year ago.  I don’t even want to be the same person I was yesterday!  I finally get it!

Like clear, fresh water running over my body, I feel like I can finally write again.  I have been cleansed of this biting fear that has kept me trapped in my own notebook.  I have been set free from the stickiness of the ink that has bound me to paper locked away for no one to see.  I finally get it and I want you to get it too!  I’m ready!

Hopefully… so are you!

Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure;
I am clean and without sin”?  Proverbs 20:9

Here’s to being cleansed every day for the rest of our lives!

See you soon!
Angie

Dream with your eyes open!

This morning, I wanted to remind everyone that there is always a beginning to all great things.  One of those things is the accomplishment of true equality.  We can share this country without violence.  We can share our days without hypocrisy.  We can love without conditions…

…and we CAN dream with our eyes wide open.

Take a few moments to appreciate the beginning of great things… to appreciate one who stood and spoke for many… one who lived what he preached…

Dream Big

MARTIN LUTHER KING

http://soundcloud.com/air1radio/i-have-a-dream-the-city

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8_1NYYKixM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=smEqnnklfYs#!

Making dreams come true…

Angie

 

 

 

Who’s seat is this?

I love going to church. It’s probably one of my favorite things to do.  I look forward to taking a little extra time to get ready, to seeing the door greeters’ huge smile as he shakes my hand, and smelling the fresh coffee as I walk into the lobby. I love catching up with people who I don’t otherwise see through the week. Our pastor, associate pastors and guest speakers always leave me feeling like I heard the Lord’s message and not their own.

I also love to worship at church.  I love the excitement that comes every Sunday morning as I anticipate which songs we will sing and seeing the band all pumped up.   On choir Sundays, I love joining my friends in adding more voices to the worship team and watching the congregation raise their hands as we collectively worship the same One, the same Savior, the same God.  When church is over, I don’t want to leave.  I want to fellowship with those I have never met as well as those I know well.

Church for me, is a place to come together with others who believe, from all walks of life, with different paths, all to reach the same goal… spiritual health and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  I don’t see myself as better than the person sitting next to me, and only on occasion do I find myself concerned with what they think of me.

I don’t always come in and mark my seat, (usually because I am chatting away with friends in the lobby or foyer, whatever you would call it) but very seldom do I ever come in and find my desired seat full.  I sit in the same row, in the same section, ninety-nine percent of the time.  When my husband is in town from work, he usually saves our seat by sitting there and putting my bible next to him and waits patiently, visiting with those around him, until the worship music starts.  We chose our seats because we are a people, easily distracted.  I am distracted having people in front of me because I am constantly making notes to talk to this person about that, and that person about this, or reminded of a prayer I meant to say about whom.  These aren’t bad things, but things that I tend to wander off in thought about and sometimes miss important parts of the sermon.  My husband however, just simply gets distracted and once he loses focus, it’s difficult to get it back.  So, we originally chose to sit where no one else was regularly sitting.  In the second row from the front.  I usually sit toward the inside so people can discreetly find a quick seat by the aisle if they come in late.

So, knowing these things about me I would like to quickly share what happened to me last Sunday…

I was busy visiting in the lobby with friends and giving my apologies for not attending choir this particular Sunday as I struggled with a horrible headache the night before.  I grabbed a cup of coffee, vanilla hazelnut as usual, with just 2 packets of sweetener and cream.  As I walked in, I noticed that all the seats but two on the outside were taken so I quickly moved toward the available seating excited to not have missed any of the worship songs yet.  As I set my belonging down, the people sitting in the next seats over started to grab their stuff and asked if I wanted to sit in their seats.  Panic struck me…  “Oh my gosh!”  I thought searching the row of people.  “Had I invited someone and forgotten and on top of that come in late and left them alone?!”  I searched the faces of the occupants of each seat one by one.  Nope… nothing was standing out.  I must have had a confused look on my face because the woman said apologetically, “We are in your seat.” …  I just stood there like a dummy, completely confused. I didn’t know what to say.  “We know this is where you usually sit.”  Realizing this couple was still waiting patiently for my answer, I quickly said, “Oh my gosh, sit, please.  I am fine right here, for real.”  and shot them a wide smile to assure them they had not in any way put me out.

As we all listened to the music start, I could feel my face get warm.  I was embarrassed that I had somehow unconsciously conveyed to those around me that this was where I sit, therefore, it is my seat.  Now, as the music played on, I rationalized that while this is where I normally sit, I have never complained or given any inclination that it was my ‘territory’ yet it was still perceived as such at least from this couples viewpoint. This got me thinking.  Do I see it as my seat? Who’s seat are we sitting in?  Who’s seat am I really sitting in?  Do we lay claim to our seat in life as our own or the One who gave us a seat to begin with?  Do we have a right to stake a claim to that of which is not ours to begin with?

With this thought in mind, I would like to share with you, a seat that is not only occupied but rightfully laid claim to.

God reigns over the nations; God is seated on His holy throne.  Psalm 47:8

I pray that in all the places we sit today, that we will remember Who’s seat we are really sitting in.  Thanks for stopping in!

~`~ Angie ~`~

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